You still remember the moment you found out she was pregnant. Maybe you were shocked at first, but once it settled in you started to imagine what life could look like. You pictured holding your child, teaching them to ride a bike, hearing them call you “Dad.” You wanted that future. You wanted the baby.
Then the words came: “I’m not keeping it.” And just like that, everything changed.
There’s a pain that comes when you wanted to protect but weren’t allowed to. It’s not just grief it’s powerlessness. It cuts deep into the heart of a man because you were created to provide, to defend, to lead with love. But abortion robbed you of that role.
You might not even know how to talk about it. People rarely ask how men feel when this happens. The world tells you it wasn’t your choice, so you shouldn’t hurt. But that’s not true. You hurt because your heart was attached. You wanted to be a father.
God understands that pain. He knows what it’s like to love someone who chooses differently. In Isaiah 65:2, He says, “All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people.” God’s heart breaks when His love is rejected but He doesn’t stop loving. That’s part of godly manhood: learning to love even when love is not returned, to forgive even when you weren’t given a voice.
Your desire to be a father reflects the image of your Heavenly Father. It’s not something to be ashamed of it’s something to be honored. The enemy wants you to believe your fatherhood was erased, but that’s a lie. Your child existed. And you loved them. That love matters.
So, what do you do with the ache? You bring it to God. You tell Him the truth about your loss. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” You don’t have to pretend you’re okay. He meets you right in the middle of that heartbreak.
And as He heals you, something powerful happens: your love doesn’t die it multiplies. You begin to see that your story can protect others, your voice can help another man stand firm, your healing can lead someone else to hope.
Brother, you may not have held your child in your arms, but you can honor them with your life. You can become the kind of man who reflects the Father’s heart: strong, compassionate, steadfast, and true. The kind of man who still chooses love through loss.
